Can You Be in Love with Two People at the Same Time?
Love is a subject that occupied the minds of artists since the dawn of time. Movies and songs are full of intense and dramatic love stories, but it wasn’t really different in the past. Peasants, merchants, kings – all of them wanted to find one true love.
In recent years, we have started hearing more about polyamorous relationships. Some people regard them as a sign of the upcoming End Times, whereas others see them as perfectly normal.
Polyamorous relationships are increasingly common in books, TV series, and our sexual fantasies, like the ones that can be found at OMG Kinky. However, what about love? Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time?
Does One True Love Exist?
When it comes to interpersonal relationships, most people have many friends, but only one partner. Is it because of our biology, or because of our culture?
If we look at the animals, we will soon discover that not monogamous, but polygynous relationships are the norm. Roughly 90% of mammals are polygynous. It is no surprise – it would be harder for monogamous species to have enough offspring to survive. Our brains aren’t naturally predisposed to monogamy, either. It is only because of our culture that monogamous relationships seem more natural to us.
It is important to note, though, that our brains are more complex than those of animals; even if most animals are polygynous, it doesn’t necessarily mean that we can use this data to say anything about the inner workings of humans.
One Varied Species
Okay, but even though science might not be helpful in explaining whether it is entirely normal that you love your wife and Karen at the same time, we can examine the behavior of humans more closely.
Just as we can safely say that it is hard to generalize how much human contact we need, we can also agree that humans differ a lot. Some of us feel fine while interacting with other people just once a week, while others start feeling uneasy after several hours with no human interactions.
Likewise, the music that we like, our lifestyle, or even the type of sex that we enjoy varies greatly. Does that mean that we can say that some actions are normal, whereas others are not?
Even if we assume that our moral code is primarily shaped by our culture, there are certain things that we all would agree upon. It doesn’t make them objectively right, but there’s no much use in spending too much time in the muddy waters of relativism.
Some scientists say that morality is a product of evolution. The tribes that followed a moral code that led to harmony among tribesmen were more likely to survive.
That’s all fine, but why are we talking about morality? Essentially, if you think that you might be in love with two people at the same time, it might be the case. Some of the readers might vehemently disagree, but the thing is, even in monogamous relationships, our definitions of love widely differ.
We fall in love differently, but we also show our love in different ways. Some people try to actively make the lives of others better, others need constant reassurance that they are loved, whereas, for the rest, love can be primarily expressed through physical affection and sex.
Some of us feel comfortable talking about their feelings just with close friends, whereas others pour out their hearts to complete strangers and later regret oversharing.
It doesn’t mean that either one of those behaviours is wrong. Some of us might think that others are wrong or even immoral, but ultimately it is for you to decide whether it is okay to love two people equally. If all the parties involved are aware of this, then who knows, perhaps you’ll find out that the world can be quite magical. And yes, we are jealous of the eventual threesomes.
However, it is more than likely that one of the parties involved won’t be happy about the news. Does it mean that the world is a cruel place? It means that, unfortunately, our biology and culture can sometimes clash, with unfortunate consequences.
What Should You Do?
If you are married and are not sure what to do, as you love your partner and another person, please don’t make any rash decisions. If you try to find answers on the internet, you are likely to hear that you should be honest with your partner. We wouldn’t go as far as advise dishonesty, but think about all the possible outcomes.
Human brains are complex, and you should not underestimate the power of jealousy. Ultimately you’ll have to choose if you want to risk your relationship or if you would rather take a safer path.