Have you always struggled to strike up interesting, persuasive, and colourful conversations with people you desire?
Do you yearn to be social but always end up sitting out the fun parts of the party?
Do you simply work too much without leaving yourself time to enjoy the finer parts of life and nurture your social skills?
Is low self-esteem something that plagues your waking thoughts? Why do you think having a low opinion of yourself is okay?
It’s okay not to have answers to most of these questions. Building confidence is often a slow progress with hard lessons and leaps of faith. And you don’t need all the answers all at once. But if you’re short on time or don’t know where to start, you may benefit from a guide.
Benefits for dating
A dating coach is a wingman, tutor, guide, and co-conspirator, all at once. And the best dating coaches won’t just work with you in the field; they’ll work more like a life coach, tackling the areas of your day-to-day that block how you project your confidence.
There is little more to meeting a person that makes you happy on a long term basis than meeting loads of people and picking the best one for you. The mistake most people make is trying to make themselves ‘good enough’ for other people. This implies two things:
- You do not already have a host of amazing qualities than anyone could find attractive once you’re putting them out there.
- You have to qualify yourself for others instead of qualifying potential partners in line with your own values
Once you understand the power that valuing yourself can hold over your wellness and confidence, you can start to make the most of your dating life.
It’s all about return on investment – the money you’re spending on buying drinks for people in bars, going out to dinner, and subscribing to premium Tinder or similar apps, as well as the time you’re investing in going out and trying to meet a girlfriend and find romantic happiness.
A dating coach can help you maximise your return on investment and make sure that the time you’re putting in gets you close to other people.
Benefits for your life at large
A dating coach is not just for dating. Building your core confidence is vital for taking control of every aspect of your life.
Imagine a salesman delivering pitches without believing the potential client will follow through. Or a surgeon who isn’t convinced that he has the knowledge to successfully bring back his patient from the brink of death.
Confidence is a benchmark of being a successful, positive person. It allows us to stay resilient during darker or more stressful times, make benevolent and selfless decisions (as we’ve already got everything we need), and build strong connections with other people, romantic and otherwise.
The self-esteem that a dating coach can help you build, from your wardrobe to your posture to your core self-beliefs that only you can see, can reforge lost connections with your family and restructure previously burned bridges with friends.
In short, your success in dating is a microcosm of your contentment throughout your wider existence. Why not work on both?
People have a false notion of dating coaches.
They’re not only about getting laid – in fact, most recommend you should avoid trying to get laid while you’re out, as wanting something from others means that both they and you will have a skewed view of who you are. Discomfort and suspicion are massive turnoffs.
Instead, especially after a long lockdown, it might well be time to give your social muscles the protein shot they need. If you wanted to bulk up, you’d join a gym in a heartbeat. Treat your social skills the same way.
I’ve been a dating coach for 15 years, guiding thousands of people to better, happier versions of themselves who feel worthy of love and attraction and able to go after what they truly desire. Put any excuses to one side and treat yourself to a little self-investment.
Johnny Cassell is an international dating and confidence coach, motivational speaker, and blogger. You can find hours of advice on his YouTube channel and get in touch about his 7-Day Course and Impactful Connections workshops through his site.