Can Online Intimacy Replace Physical Intimacy?
Most people nowadays are used to spending half of their waking hours on the internet. It is a source of entertainment but also useful information. You don’t need to go to the library to check information about any subject imaginable.
In just a few short seconds, you can find the answer using your computer, tablet, or smartphone. You don’t need to go to the grocery store or a restaurant – you could order food online. That’s not all. If for some reason, you and your better half live far away from each other, you could use the internet to be a bit closer to the other person. Is it a good long-term solution? Let’s find out.
Need for Physical Intimacy
Not all people require the same amount of physical contact. Some seem to touch other people at every possible occasion. It might seem a bit strange for those who prefer to keep the distance. There’s nothing wrong with any of those – it’s just that our brains are different.
There are people who feel loved the most when they often hear nice words from their partners. For them, long-term relationships might be easier. Unfortunately, other people need to be physically intimate with their partners to feel that everything is fine. It doesn’t necessarily mean that for them, words mean nothing; it’s just that they are not a good replacement for a hug or sex.
People’s love languages vary, which is why some long-term relationships are going strong, while others are falling apart.
There is no easy solution to this problem. Apart from trying to find time to meet with the partner, no matter how far away they live, you could give them something that would remind them of you. It could be a large teddy bear, a vibrator, or you could buy sex dolls. Not every type of gift will work for everyone.
That’s why you need to consider the personality of your partner and on this basis make a decision. Your boyfriend might not be into butt-play. As a consequence, he might not necessarily appreciate a large sex toy that you send him.
Whatever you choose, remember that such a gift won’t be the same as having the arms of your partner wrapped tightly around you. If you don’t live next to each other, then sex isn’t the only thing that might be only rarely possible. When you touch the body of your partner, their brain releases oxytocin. It is sometimes called “the hormone of love”, as it makes you feel relaxed and blissful. Unfortunately, a teddy bear or a sex doll won’t cause the same chemical reaction as physical intimacy does.
A Match Made in Heaven?
Although you and your partner might be excellent when it comes to communicating in real life, online communication could be more problematic. Our online habits differ. Some people check their Messenger and social media once every hour. Others do it just once per day.
The problem is if you two differ in this regard. If your partner responds to your messages after several hours, you might feel that they are not putting the necessary effort. If you fail to talk with your partner about this issue, it could quickly turn into a source of resentment and later be detrimental to your physical intimacy.
If none of you lacks empathy, you’ll likely reach a compromise. They might not enjoy getting attacked by all the trash that usually can be found on social media, but you can simply schedule regular phone calls. It’s 2020, and even if there are thousands of miles separating you and your partner, there are multiple ways to connect.
Is Arguing Online Bad?
Another thing that is connected with the previous point is that couples that live far away from each other tend to avoid arguments like the plague. Arguing in real life is not something that most people in relationships are really fond of, and it’s even more true when the person that you are arguing with is hundreds of miles away. That’s because you can’t read the situation as well without seeing the body language of your partner. As a consequence, it is easier to misinterpret the intentions of your partner while you are conversing online.
Unfortunately, avoiding arguments is not really that good for your relationship. If both of you are emotionally mature individuals, then the arguments that you normally have don’t just appear out of nowhere. Instead, it’s the attempt to reach a compromise, even if the path toward it isn’t always smooth. If you cannot argue in real life, you might be reluctant to raise any controversial topics. As a result, bad emotions will fester inside you. One thing is certain – it will have an adverse effect on your relationship.
If you are afraid that a normal argument could unexpectedly turn into a ferocious fight, then just voice your concerns to your partner. If both of you understand that online conversations can be potentially dangerous, then you and your partner will try to be extra patient during an argument. This way, you won’t have to fear that an unfortunate word or misheard phrase is going to have tragic consequences.
Communication is key in any type of relationship – whether it’s long-distance or if you live in a tiny studio apartment. Physical intimacy is about looking in each other’s eyes, expressing feelings like we were meant to do – with body language, touch, and voice.
While relationships can survive years apart, the ultimate goal is the promise of physical intimacy.