How To Use Reverse Psychology To Get What You Want In 4 Steps

We all use reverse psychology more than we probably realise. This is a technique which involves asserting a belief or behaviour to somebody which is opposite to the one desired with the simple expectation that using this technique will encourage the person you’re trying to persuade to do what is actually desired. 

This manipulation technique is used a lot by parents towards their children in the hope that they will rebel against their parents and do the opposite of what their parents request therefore allowing the technique of reverse psychology to work.

Important things to understand about reverse psychology

If you take reverse psychology as a form of communication in can only be as effective as it is utilised, of course, if you are too obvious you will lise the opportunity to influence somebody using this technique. It is worth understanding that reverse psychology is manipulation and you really should be questioning not only your morals but the need to use reverse psychology. 

Do make sure you use it in the appropriate context so that you don’t make the person you’re trying to manipulate feel uncomfortable if they discover what you’re doing. It can be awkward for everybody so it’s important to understand the motivation behind what you are trying to achieve and decide if just asking for what you desire outright will be more effective?

How To Use Reverse Psychology To Get What You Want | Elle Blonde Luxury Lifestyle Destination Blog

I’m not trying to dissuade you from using reverse psychology, just trying to outline the reason as to why it has a bad reputation.

Having said this, if you are okay with manipulation to get your own way then using this technique can be very effective. This can be trying to get somebody to do something for your or even for getting an new job position.

Related Read;

Resistance and Reverse Psychology

First of all, understand that reverse psychology does not work on everybody, typically there are two types of people when it comes to using this technique, compliant and resistant people. 

Compliant people are the people who this form of psychology works on as they tend to follow directions with very little resistance.

Resistant people tend to be more difficult to persuade and can be very black and white in their logic which makes it harder to get the results you desire.

How To Use Reverse Psychology To Get What You Want | Elle Blonde Luxury Lifestyle Destination Blog

Before you begin to use this technique on somebody you need to gauge if the person you’re trying to persuade is compliant or resistance. Just because somebody has been receptive to reverse psychology in the past doesn’t always mean they will be receptive to it again. So use with caution.

Using Reverse Psychology

As we have previously outlined, we tend to use this technique a lot on children, but before you try and implement these tactics on adults again question yourself and why you are doing this. If you are doing this for your own personal gain then it might be worth reconsider your approach. Why not try and talk around the subject to see if you are able to get your desire a more noble way.

Follow these 4 steps to master the art of reverse psychology for good instead of manipulation.

Step one

If you want to convince somebody to be on your side of an argument, logical thinking ir agree on doing something you want to plant the seed of choice. Firstly offer them options related to what it is you want them to do. Then start planting seeds for the option you desire the most by suggesting some benefits and drawbacks of the options and only the benefits of the result you desire.

It is always most beneficial to talk in the future tense when using reverse psychology as this will linger longer in the other person’s brain.

Step two

Talk about the idea a couple of times, ask questions in regards to the options you presented and get a feel about how the person you’re talking to feels. Talk about other people you know who have done the activity or whatever it is you want to achieve so that the other person can get a first hand view of the success of your desire.

Again talk in a future tense and then drop subtle beneficial factors as opposed to your other options.

How To Use Reverse Psychology To Get What You Want | Elle Blonde Luxury Lifestyle Destination Blog

Step three

Now it is time to start offering the choice in real time.  You have presented all of the benefits of your chosen desire and then it’s time to say it’s probably best to select the other option. You should by now, if the person is receptive, see that they are coming round to your desired result.

Step four

When the person states they want to take your preferred desired choice continue to push the alternative option, this will help solidify that the other person thinks the desired outcome is their idea and they will become the advocate of the desired outcome and then you’ll have then gained your own way!

So the next time you do want to win an argument or get somebody to do something you desire then try using reverse psychology, just make sure that you use this from a place of everybody’s best interest.

Have you used reverse psychology before? We would love to hear your thoughts and stories in the comments section below. As always, if you have found this article of any value we would love for you to ‘Pin It’ on Pinterest and share with your friends and family across social media and beyond!