Building a life together with a significant other is an undeniably special thing to do, and when you feel like you’ve met the right person to spend the rest of your life with, the feeling is nothing short of incomparable. But there is a lot of unfortunate financial logistics wrapped up in the middle stages of charting out a new life together, chief of which is perhaps the financial side of the equation.
Indeed, it has been found that around one in seven relationships end as a direct result of money issues. This is an incredible figure, particularly when you consider the many and varied reasons for which a relationship may eventually sour. It could be argued, then, that financial harmony is the key to general harmony in your relationship. But how can you achieve financial harmony as a couple, practically speaking?
10 Practical Tips for Achieving Financial Harmony as a Couple
Plan Together
The first step in any relationship endeavour should be to make a solid plan. No progress will be made unless you are 100% sure that you’re both on the same page, which means having some potentially difficult conversations about your ideal future plans.
Do you intend to marry soon, and if so, how much are you looking to spend on it? When does buying a home together fall into your long term plan, and what are your career aspirations? Answering these questions will get you closer to drawing up a reasonable plan for your finances, both joint and separate.
Debt and Teamwork
Here, it is vital to acknowledge the sheer danger that debt can pose to the security of your relationship. If you are serious about spending your life together, this might be a good time to address any debt related elephants in the room. If you have multiple debt sources between you, you could combine them via a debt consolidation loan and then take joint responsibility for repaying it. This could get you both out of debt far sooner, and allow you to save more efficiently towards your shared goals.
Transparency is Key
This goes to a more general consideration that should form the bedrock of your planning going forwards: that of transparency. In order for your financial ‘marriage’ to work, there needs to be no secrets between you. Keeping secrets is bad form generally, but can be financially ruinous in the worst case.
Failure to disclose a hidden debt burden or financial decision could see it balloon, and eventually impact you both. From now on, anything past personal expenditure on treats and small trinkets should be, at the very least, communicated!
Join Up for Essentials
Which brings to a final tip, and one of the more practicable tips here. It is common for couples to conjoin their finances by creating a joint account, and sharing everything within it. This may work for some couples, but can be needlessly simplistic for others.
Define Individual and Shared Financial Goals
While it’s essential to have joint financial goals, it’s also important to discuss your personal financial aspirations. Are there things each of you wants to achieve individually, like further education, a solo holiday, or a significant personal purchase? Being upfront about these goals can prevent misunderstandings and help both of you support each other’s dreams. It’s also a great way to establish healthy boundaries in your finances.
Set a Monthly Budget Together
Creating a monthly budget as a couple is a practical way to stay on top of shared and individual expenses. Sit down together each month to outline what needs to be spent on essentials, savings, and personal allowances. This not only helps you stay organised but also ensures you both are aware of the financial situation at all times, helping to avoid any surprises and allowing adjustments for unforeseen expenses.
Schedule Regular ‘Money Dates’
Set aside a specific time each month for a “money date,” where you both review your finances together. This doesn’t have to be a formal affair, it can be a relaxed conversation over coffee or dinner. Use this time to discuss any new expenses, upcoming plans, and changes to your goals or budget. This regular check-in helps keep communication open and removes the potential stress of money conversations piling up.
Agree on Financial Boundaries
Just as you would set boundaries in other aspects of your relationship, it’s essential to establish financial boundaries. This could mean setting a spending limit for individual purchases or agreeing on what expenses need to be discussed beforehand. Establishing these boundaries can reduce friction, allowing each of you to feel comfortable with your spending without infringing on each other’s financial autonomy.
Prioritise Emergency Savings
Life is unpredictable, so having an emergency fund is vital to help you weather any unexpected expenses as a couple. Aim to set aside three to six months’ worth of living expenses in a separate savings account. This shared financial cushion provides peace of mind and helps prevent debt in the case of unforeseen events, such as a sudden car repair or job change.
Invest in Financial Education Together
Financial literacy is key to making informed decisions, and learning together can be both rewarding and empowering. Attend a finance workshop, read books on investing, or explore online courses that can help you both improve your money management skills. The more you both understand about finances, the easier it will be to make aligned decisions, setting you up for a financially secure future together.
It would make more sense for you to create a joint account from which joint payments such as rent, mortgage, utilities and groceries are made, and into which you each deposit a set amount. A separate joint savings account can be created for your longer term plans as a couple, but everything else should be kept separate, enabling ‘fun money’ and personal spending without major conversations each and every time.
