Arguments (not personal attacks) are integral to every friendship and relationship, whether personal or professional. Each of us has a different view of how things should be done. Because we are social beings that must interact with one another, sooner or later, we come across someone that does not share our view or opinion.
This could present an opportunity to learn and see things differently. Still, many times this difference of opinion leads to arguments and conflicts. Many people, in a bit to show that they are lovers of peace, avoid uncomfortable discussions in the hope that there will be no conflicts, but this only creates more problems.
When one is always allowed to hold onto one’s position, they usually erroneously believe that they’re right, and having discussions about their position can turn into an unpleasant situation.
Many people enter a conversation with a sense of superiority. They view a conversation as an avenue to push their ideas instead of an opportunity to exchange and analyze views. This sort of mindset means that any contrasting opinion to theirs is unacceptable. Armed with this stance, they will be eager to resort to abuse and personal attacks, derailing the conversation.
Being neutral might seem to be a sensible idea for preventing arguments. However, it deprives you of providing your opinions on issues. Since arguments and disagreements are parts of human interaction, it is only sensible that we learn how to better engage in them so that it doesn’t escalate into ugly situations.
What better way to learn how to engage in dialogue, debate, and discussion politely, if not by applying civil discourse tenets and practicing the tips below?
4 Easy Ways To Avoid Negative Personal Attacks & Disrespectful Actions In Conversation
Remain Rational
In every conversation, there is always that one person who gets overly emotional and reacts rudely. Our natural response is usually to respond similarly and show the person that we are no pushover. If we give in to this natural urge and react the same way, the discussion will turn into a shouting match, and the conversation will be ruined.
However, suppose we can maintain our cool and remain rational even in the face of abuse and personal attacks. In that case, we can re-direct the conversation back to the main issue being discussed. This is a challenging task. Staying calm in the face of emotional outbursts and provocation requires unusual strength. Therefore it is important to decide just how important a conversation is to you.
Determine The Value Of The Dialogue
Even though arguments are necessary, not all of them carry the same weight. To remain focused in the face of an emotional outburst during a conversation, we need to decide if the conversation is worth it.
If the conversation concerns an opinion you feel strongly about; you must draw everyone back to the focus of the discussion so that day issue can be dealt with once and for all. Suppose the conversation is about something inconsequential or something that doesn’t hold much value to you. In that case, there’s no need to dwell on the issue. Allow the other person to feel like they have won.
There Mustn’t Be A Winner
Conversations must not have a winner or loser. After all, a conversation is simply an exchange of ideas. It might not be popular, but two people can come together and exchange differing opinions peacefully and leave without bad blood or anyone changing their opinion.
This is why it is crucial to be open-minded and curious while approaching a conversation. It will allow you to compromise with the person while maintaining your position and being respectful. By being open-minded, you will understand the person’s perspective even when you don’t agree with the person.
Disagree Politely
It is highly improbable for you to agree with everything someone says, whoever the person might be. There will always be disagreements, but the manner and method of disagreeing is important. People who approach conversations with a win-or-lose mindset always tend to disagree rudely. But conversations can remain civil if you are open-minded and view it as the exchange of ideas.
When one says something you disagree with during a conversation, acknowledge the person’s point of view and politely state that you do not agree with it while stating your reasons. This may or may not result in you winning over the other party, but it will ensure that the conversation remains civil and you can both reach a compromise.
Compromises are important strategies in conversations because it allows both parties to get a resolution that is best for everyone.
Final Thoughts
Unless you intend to go and live alone on the moon or somewhere in far Antarctica, you cannot run away from arguments and disagreements. Disagreements may come with some problems, but they add spice to conversations and our life in general. Because they are inevitable, you need to know how to manage them better.
A popular and useful tactic in handling arguments is to pause, take deep breaths and allow the rising tensions to abate before resuming. When this strategy is combined with the above methods, it will help limit the rate at which conversations and arguments escalate to abuse and personal attacks.
